My Quest to Quit Smoking
This morning, very early, me and a friend were driving back home from having a few beers. I told him that I really need to stop smoking.
He looked at me and said that people who whine about stopping smoking irritates the shit out of him, and that I should just STOP and not 'talk' about it. Although his comment was not really ground-breaking in principal it struck a cord with me.
This afternoon, the following lines from Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking made a lot of sense:
"If you ever start to envy another smoker, realize that they will be envious of you. You are not being deprived. They are."
"Never doubt your decision never to smoke again. You know it's the correct decision."
"Having made what you know to be the correct decision, don't ever torture yourself by doubting it."
I'm a loser baby
At the moment I feel that it was a mistake to even create this blog. 'My Quest to Quit Smoking' is going nowhere fast. These last two days I didn't smoke much during the day and went to the gym before starting work at around 17:00. As soon as I sat down in front of my PC the craving just took over and on both days I had to go to the caf for smokes.It's just really hard not to respond to my cravings when I'm stuck in front of a computer for nine hours. After every cigarette I smoke, I tell myself that it's going to be my last one, but it never is. Sorry for sounding so miserable (I'm not miserable in general, just about the smoking) but I feel as if I'm never going to learn. At the moment all I can do is wait for a divine revelation (or maybe just a kick in the teeth).Talk tomorrow.
Bad, but fun, weekend
The other day I was very disturbed after watching an Oprah-episode about heart disease. They basically showed the difference between a normal heart and a enlarged heart. It scared the shit out of me to think that my heart can maybe one day look like that from smoking. Maybe I’m just paranoid.
Anyway, so I had a very rough, boozy weekend and naturally didn’t care about quitting smoking cigarettes. On Saturday morning I was very hung-over and my heart was beating terribly fast. I know that I will feel much healthier if I at least cut cigarettes out of my party-routine.
So, a new week, a new start.
Ok, I fucked-up big time. Barely a few hours after my previous post I already bought myself a “single” cigarette (yes, in South Africa you can buy individual cigarettes). Before I went to work (I work in the evening), I bought another one. Smoking these cigarettes didn’t make me feel bettter at all. They only relieved my craving and a few seconds after smoking them I felt pissed-off with myself. After work I went out and smoked a whole packet of ten.I find it difficult to stay focused on the fact that I shouldn’t smoke. It is as if I’m not thinking straight when my body is craving nicotine. Sometimes it will only be after I smoked a cigarette that it will occur to me that I’m not suppose to smoke.Ok, my weekend has started and I’m definitely going to get drunk tonight, so we’ll see how it goes. Don’t expect too much.P.S. - I'm going to stop, really
I’ve had enough of always feeling tired, having to constantly use my inhaler and living in fear of contracting cancer. Although I’ve tried to stop smoking countless times, I feel like I’m really going to do it this time. I know that it is going to be hard, but after reading Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking, I feel as if I've got a better perspective on cigarettes and nicotine addiction.Anyway, I’m about to have a cup of coffee and smoke my “last” cigarette. Read this blog daily to see how I'm doing.